Dreams are portals into our souls! Taking them seriously can lead us to the wisdom that lives within us. Each element of our dreams can have many different meanings. Likewise, the Christian religion as a whole is 'dreamlike' - full of stories and poetry and imagery with many possible meanings for our lives.
Many of the most potent and helpful dreams I have ever had have come to me in times of particular challenge or crisis. When the conscious mind has exhausted itself on all the possible rational outcomes of different decisions, then it is time to sleep, and let the unconscious mind work it through at a different level. It appears this is what Joseph did when, according to the sacred myth of the gospel, he discovered that Mary was pregnant – and not by him.
What dream did Joseph dream? Taking the voice of Joseph, here’s my conjecture:
I dreamed that I was lost in the desert. It was a glorious landscape of endless sky, piling up into thunderhead clouds over distant mountains. I was walking along a steep cliff of stone, banded yellow and red and blue-gray. The sun was beating down on me, a hot ball of blazing light, radiating heat off of the face of the cliff. I walked along, making my own trail up and over dry wash gullies, past pinon and cholla cactus and sagebrush, my shoes leaving deep prints on the soft dirt, powdering the leather with fine red dust. I didn't know where I was or where I was going -- it was exciting, but then it got scary, because I was getting hungry and thirsty, and I had no provisions at all, and could detect no sign of water or human habitation for as far as my eyes could see. I walked along, growing more and more concerned, then scared, then panicked as I felt my tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth, the sweat beading on my forehead, and no relief in sight.
I stumbled over to a shady spot below the rock cliff to rest and gather my wits. When I caught my breath, I heard a trickling, gurgling sound, and there, at the base of the cliff, was a spring of water dripping out of a crack in the rock into a pool in a basin of stone, shaded by willow trees, glittering in the diffused light. I approached it, and then suddenly noticed that someone was sitting against the cliff next to the water. The reflected light from the pool shimmered on the man's peaceful face. Next to him was an old leather backpack and a walking stick. Looking at him, I could not tell his age -- was he a weathered young man, or a very lively old man? I approached, and we greeted each other. He pulled a cup out of his pack and filled it with water from the pool and handed it to me. I drank, overwhelmed with relief and gratitude, as if he had created the pool of water himself.
Without a word he reached into his leather backpack again and pulled out something wrapped in paper, and offered it to me – a big piece of some kind of cake. I eagerly accepted. It was something like baclava – sweet, flaky, with honey and crumbled nuts in it, it seemed. “Thanks!” I exclaimed. “It’s delicious! What is it?” I asked. He smiled, his teeth shining in the glimmering light from the little pool in the basin of red rock. “Manna,” he said, with a bit of a laugh. “Manna from heaven.” Something about the way he said it was reassuring to me. He looked me in the eyes, and I felt a calm come over me.
“I’ve been waiting for you,” he said, still smiling. “I’m glad you have arrived.”
Well, I’m very glad you are here, believe me! I was getting pretty scared out there, all alone with nothing to eat or drink! I’m Joseph, and who are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Gabriel,” he replied.
“And what brings you out here into the middle of nowhere?”
“I live here. This is my home,” he said, waving his arm out toward the desert emptiness. “And what brings you here?” he asked.
I didn’t know what to say. I had no idea how I got there, or why, or where I was going. “I guess I have forgotten, if I ever knew in the first place!” I said, and he just laughed again.
“Come with me. I want to show you something,” he said. And, having no reason yet not to trust him, I followed. For about 45 minutes we scrambled up a bank of soft dirt against the face of the cliff, and then hauled ourselves up a pile of rocks in a big crack in the cliff, to the top of the mesa. From the top, the view was spectacular. I could see the whole range of distant mountains far across the plain. Below them was a wide river that snaked out of the mouth of a big canyon. Behind us was yet another cliff, with another level of mesa above it. “We’re going up there,” he announced. “Up to the top.” It took two hours to pick our way across the lower mesa and carefully work our way up the next cliff, precariously wedging ourselves in cracks and crevasses, fumbling for finger and toe holds. Finally we got to the highest mesa, and there, to my amazement, was a town, set back from the edge of the cliff where no one could see it from below. It looked like a Native American pueblo – beautiful buildings of stone, heavy wood posts, and adobe. People – of every shape and color and age -- dressed in simple but colorful clothes, walked and gathered in shops and stalls along the streets, greeting us warmly as we passed. There was obviously great wealth in this community, but it was understated. The town had streets of carefully laid native stone, laid out in elaborate geometric patterns. No homes appeared to be in disrepair: every one, each with a somewhat different design, had an open gateway leading into a garden courtyard. In the center of the town was a circle with a garden in the middle – carefully tended, with many herbs and flowers growing in it, and a fountain cascading water that flowed under the street through a culvert, and then down a stone watercourse on the other side of the street, through a park that flanked it. There were no cars, just horse-drawn carts of a clever design I had never seen before.
“Where are we?” I asked.
“Heaven,” he said, matter of factly.
A jolt of both fear and joyful thrill tingled up my spine. And also great shock. It was all so – well, real. It was like a real place on earth, only much nicer than anywhere I’d ever been. More beautiful, more peaceful, more creatively inspired, and, well, more civilized by far. And yet still so real – I could smell sweat on the people I passed, I saw red dust on their shoes, I heard dogs barking and chickens clucking as they roamed loose on the streets.
“This is heaven?” I wasn’t really asking the question – I believed Gabriel. The place really was heavenly, though in a way I never would have predicted. He gently touched my shoulder.
“Here’s proof, Joseph!” he said with a laugh. “Look – here is the bakery where I got the manna!” I smelled that wonderful aroma coming out of the shop a few doors down the stone sidewalk. “Let’s go in – I’d like you to meet the baker.”
We went inside. It looked like a normal bakery, except it was a particularly welcoming place, with people happily sharing bread and wine at heavy long wooden tables, with racks of fresh warm bread and, yes, a lot of manna, formed into square cakes and wrapped in thin paper. The woman at the counter greeted Gabriel with a hearty hello, and Gabriel introduced me to her. “Joseph, this is the one who made your manna that you enjoyed so much today.” She greeted me with a toothy smile. She was a big woman, about 50 years old, it seemed, with a beautiful, warm, peaceful face and curly grey hair. I thanked her for cooking such a wonderful delicacy, and she happily accepted the compliment. “I am so glad to meet you,” she said, “I really hope you’ll come back sometime!” I felt so welcomed, so accepted by her – love radiated from her like the aroma of bread fresh from the oven. I told her I certainly would be back for more of that manna – it really was divine, I told her. Back outside, I asked Gabriel: “What was her name?”
“God,” he replied.
I turned around, stunned. That was God? A baker in a little shop in a small town centrally located in the middle of nowhere? The bakery was an extremely charming and hospitable place, with particularly wonderful baked goods on display, but – it was just a bakery, and not that big of a place, and there was no effulgence surrounding it except a nice aroma—of manna -- oh yes, the manna…..
We kept walking until we got to a little park in front of an open stone gate wreathed in vines. Beyond it was a staircase leading down into a narrow canyon. “This is where we say goodbye, Joseph,” said Gabriel. “Sit with me here for a moment.”
“You must return home now,” said Gabriel. “But first let me ask you this. Is there anything about Heaven that you think could not happen everywhere else on Earth? Do you think that what you just saw is impossible to create back where you came from?” He fixed his eyes on mine, and waited for my thousand thoughts to congeal into an answer.
“All of it seems – so real! – all of it seems possible to create back home. This place could be anywhere -- it is earthy, earthly, and yet - it is heavenly!"
Gabriel put his hand on my shoulder again. “Joseph, I've got good news for you. Heaven is already on earth. It is hidden now, but it is coming into being. And it isn't just happening up here, on top of this distant mesa. It is happening wherever two or three people gather in unconditional love. That's how it happened here -- because a few people here truly loved each other, their love spilled over to others, who then truly loved each other, as well, and thus they were able to create this lovely community, with all its homely beauty and peace. The people here love each other with the same kind of love that you share with your fiancee, Mary."
And then it all came flooding back to me. Where I was from, what had been happening in my life before I found myself wandering in the desert. I had fallen in love with Mary, and we were so happy together, and we had decided to marry -- and then I found out that she was pregnant by someone else. In my country, in my town, that was a terrible thing-- I would be expected to be angry, I would be expected to punish her at least by humiliating her in front of everyone else for cheating on me. But even though she did what she did -- I still love her. I just couldn't humiliate her, or hurt her in any way. My love for her is... well, it is unconditional. No, I can't marry her now, but yes, I still love her... even though it breaks my heart. I explained it all to Gabriel, and he listened quietly and carefully. "If this is what you mean by unconditional love," I said, "if this is what brings heaven to earth.... I don't know. It is so painful!" I cried.
Gabriel nodded. "Your love for Mary was - and still is - a beautiful thing. Worth all the pain. God knows it -- because God IS unconditional love. God has sent me to you, to tell you of the significance of your love for Mary. That child that Mary is carrying -- he needs a father. This child needs you. Without you, this child cannot become the person he is meant to become. Without you, he will not know unconditional love, a love that is infinitely stronger even than the bonds of blood relation. You need to get married to Mary, so that you can shower unconditional love on this child, as you still shower it on Mary. Raise this child as if he was your own, as much as any father raises his own child. Because, remember, all children are children of God -- your son, even if he was of your flesh, is not your possession, but God's. Love him not just because he is the son of your beloved Mary, love him because is a son of God. And out of your love for each other -- you, Mary, and this child -- heaven will grow on earth. Because of your love, this child will be called Jesus-- savior; Emmanuel -- God with us. Because you act as his father, even though he is not of your flesh and blood, he will learn how to become the greatest teacher of love that your world has ever known."
"Love has brought you this far, Joseph," Gabriel continued, "and now it is up to you to take the next step, to follow unconditional love where it leads you next. I know how hard this will be for you -- how much it goes against all the rules of your polite society, and how hurt your heart must be at what seems like Mary's betrayal of your love and trust. But you know that there is a higher law, a higher calling. Mary wants you, this child needs you, and the love that is God stirs within you to take this next step. Go back home, Joseph, and follow the law of love! You go with my blessing, and with all the blessings of Heaven."
Out of his backpack he pulled another cake of manna. "Take this with you -- give it to Mary! She'll need it, and so will that baby she is carrying," said Gabriel. He hugged me, looked me in the eyes, and said, "I love you, Joseph!" Tearfully I thanked him, turned, and walked through the gate and down the stone stairs, headed home.